Advocating, not neglecting

So....... I recognize that my last post was a little more than 4 months ago.
I of course, let life surround me with the usual chaos that often occurs when your world revolves around your children.

My oldest (5th grade) needed me. He needed me to advocate. He needed me to reassure. He needed me to ease his anxiety, to assist in helping others understand his different way of thinking and processing.
"They" were calling it bad behavior.
We Call it a lack of social skills and anxiety in unstructured settings with staff that doesn't quite get it.
 His doctors call it a disability.

The school doesn't have the resources for the majority of children with high functioning Autism. They have self contained programs for low functioning, mainly non verbal students.... They have classroom settings referred to as the Behavior Disorder rooms for the disruptive children, but, There is nothing for the social skill lacking, sensory sensitive, routine structured, literal child.

When a child has some difficulties managing in a general education setting ( you know, a bustling classroom with 1 teacher for 30 students, constant noise and distractions) the immediate turn is bad behavior. It's sad really. My sons IEP is written under "other health impairment" because he doesn't meet the Federal education guidelines as autistic.

NEWS FLASH## he doesn't fit anything.
It's time to get real. It's time to change. It's time to adapt, accept and understand.

The schools need to listen. My son won't be the last child with his variety. He most likely isn't even the first child. But I am the first parent that they wish would go away. I am sure of it.

In my recent go rounds (almost daily) with my sons school, I discovered an article. It's a bit lengthy, but boy, it is so nice to have something like this that spells out exactly what I've been saying to the schools. It validated everything. I know I am not alone in this. It's okay to stand up and advocate. The squeaky wheel gets the oil and when translated into terms for your children, it's a win win.

Building Strong Supports in School 

Structure, predictability, and consistency of approach. Many children on the spectrum become overwhelmed very easily. You want to evaluate the sensory, academic and instructional demands in the classroom. Try to make sure that noise level is low, lighting is not too bright, and that academic demands are tailored to the learning style of the student. Try to keep a written or visual (picture) schedule for the day, and try to stay with a consistent schedule each day. The more concrete, visual, and predictable the daily routine the lesser the anxiety. "Uncertainty" is a major enemy of children with ASD.

Kids with ASD can be very "rule" bound. They interpret things "literally" and will follow things "literally." Post written rules and expectations and review them frequently. LOL...just make sure you stay true to them. They will remind you.

Be very careful of the social demands within the classroom. They have difficulty interacting in group situation, especially reading the fast pace interactions among several people at one time. Invite, but do not push too hard, and then support them in group activities. They will have trouble reading the unwritten rules of relating with others. They have trouble reading the thoughts, feelings, and perspective of others. They have difficulty "fitting in." Try not to push them, but rather invite them into interacting. Children with on the spectrum can be very different in desire to interact. They tend to either be indifferent or uninterested and need coaxing, or they are very social and very verbal, but do not know when to stop. The very social ones, will often interrupt, talk nonstop about their topic of interest, dominate a conversation, and overwhelm other children. They do not know how their behavior is effecting others. They will need a lot of coaching.

Focus on their strengths and interests. Kids on the spectrum often have good awareness of detail, and have one or two very strong interests. They can have very good memory for facts and detail, but not catch the "gist" of things. Identify what their strengths and interests are and try to build them into the lessons. Like any child, if you build on their strengths, and help support their weaknesses, they will develop.

Expect that they will have organizational problems very similar to ADD. Break tasks down into manageable steps, and give them a lot of visual cues. Set up organizers, color code things, help them put their backpack together at the end of the day, and remind them to give you their homework at beginning of the day. Try to give main instructions with written notes for them to refer back to when needed. Start where they are competent and build gradually.

DON"T ASSUME. Just because they are very verbal doesn't mean they understand. Also, because they are very literal, they often do not understand our multiple-meaning, vague language. Don't assume they know. Be very careful to explain things very literally for them, and have them repeat it back to you. Be careful to "clarify" and "verify" everything. If the child "does wrong" they probably "misinterpret" the expectations. Look at how it was presented and how it was interrupted. Do not assume the child purposely is "doing it wrong." Rarely is this the case. It is usually more "our fault" not theirs. However, do not expect to anticipate all problems, you cannot be that good.

The children are often very black and white, all or nothing in their thinking. The stronger the anxiety, the more rigid and inflexible the thinking. They can get upset with vague rules and behavior, and get very anxious which can be displayed in obsessive/compulsive behavior, or oppositional/defiant behavior. When highly anxious they can be very perfectionistic and unrealistic in their own performance and that of others. They can have a strong fear of being wrong, and need to make sure that they have competed it right.

Peer awareness is important. The better understanding the other kids have of the child, the better they can support them. There are some good videos and kids books out for explaining autism/aspergers. Some schools use video tapes to teach staff and peers about autism. Develop peer supports to help the child navigate the social life. Supportive peers can sometimes be the best teachers. Watch very carefully for other children teasing and bullying the child.

Often the hardest times during the school day will be the unstructured times, such as lunch, recess, between classes in the hall, locker room before gym, etc. These transition times can be very difficult for them to regulate. When aids are not available, peer supports can really help out.

For many children with anxiety, stress chemicals will accumulate throughout the day. Give them frequent breaks during the school day to rebound and collect themselves. Also give them "break" cards that they can hand to you if they need to "get out of there" and rebound. I would also ask for an Occupational Therapist to evaluate and give them sensory diets to help calm and organize their nervous system.

Each child is different, but assume that the everyday demands of school can be very overwhelming for the child. Whether they tell you or not, their behavior will tell you how they are doing. Communicate that they are safe and accepted in your classroom, and provide proactive support. Become a :"working partner' with them, and most importantly be flexible. Once they read that in you, they will use you for support and feel safe in your classroom.

Anxiety can be expressed in different ways. Some children with melt down and act out. Some children will "shut down" or "tune out." They are just as overwhelmed and anxious. Some children use a very "oppositional" coping strategy. They often argue, or resist much of what is going on. "They will say "something is stupid, or boring," when they feel insecure and incompetent.

Because these child often go undiagnosed, they can appear "lazy", "oppositional", or "poor attitude." Because they often have good verbal skills, the social and emotional issues are often more hidden. These children are not "manipulative and oppositional" by nature, only as a way of coping with uncertainty. Just always remind yourself, as the child becomes oppositional or defiant, realize he is feeling more insecure and anxious.

For the children who become overwhelmed and "melt down", do not scold or punish. Do not become controlling or demanding. When they are melting down, they lose coping skills and self control. Back off demands, lower the stimulation, and lower your voice. Offer assistance, but be aware that many child need to be left completely along to rebound. We often develop "safe areas" for the child to escape too in order to rebound. Communicate that they are safe and accepted with you. Respect their need to back away.

BE PROACTIVE RATHER THAN REACTIVE. Provide strong proactive supports to minimize stress and build adaptive skills, rather then "punishing" problem behavior. This doesn't mean letting them get away with things. You can provide consequences for behavior, but focus heavily on identifying "why" the problems are occurring and building in supports to minimize the behavior.

When assessing the safety factors at school I look closely at the physical surroundings of the classroom (sensory issues, physical layout of the classroom, seating arrangement, etc.), the instructional strategies that the teacher uses, the task performance demands, and the social interaction patterns with teachers and peers.

When looking at how to create a supportive school environment for your child, consider the following:

1. Look to see if there are any sensory problems in the classroom (too many children, too much noise, too much distracting activities, etc.). Look to see if where he sits is a factor for him. Does he need to sit closer to the teacher, away from windows, are other kids sitting too close to him, etc. 

2. Children on the spectrum need strong organization to the classroom and schedule. They require strong predictability to their routine. The teacher should provide the class (or him) with a picture schedule, and go over it at the beginning and middle of the day. The teacher should review the schedule frequently, and prepare him ahead of time for transitions and changes. Also, use visual cues and visual instructions to what he needs to do.

3. Remind the teachers to be very specific, very literal with their language. Don't assume that the child understands what is expected. They need to clarify information, and verify that he understands it (ask him to repeat it back). Provide instructions in visual form, (pictures, written words, etc.).

4. Transitions between activities (ending one activity and starting another), especially if it means ending a preferred activity and going to a nonpreferred activity, can be difficult for the kids. The children usually do better when they know what activity will following the current one, and then prepare them for the transition by giving a couple of warnings before transitioning (in 3 minutes we will be cleaning up and doing ___, then one minute warning, etc.).

5. Watch closely the interaction patterns with the staff. How do they support your child, what types of teaching strategies do they use, and how do they prompt your son to do things? Do they help him out when he is struggling, do they focus on his strengths, and support him early when he is struggling, etc? Does he feel accepted and supported by the way they assist him. If he gets overwhelmed and acts out, how do they support him at the time. Do they assist him to calm (e.g. back off demands, allowed to retreat to safe area, use calming strategies), or do they demand and command. Try to guide them in what techniques work best to lessen the overload, as well as calm your son when overwhelmed. If needed ask the Occupational Therapist to design a sensory diet to help your child stay calm and organized during the school day, and ask for a “functional behavior assessment” if your child is having behavior issues at school. Ask to be part of the team that will be assessing and designing any behavior strategies. You have a right to be part of all decision making.

6. Also take a look at how the child interacts with the other children. This is often their biggest anxiety. Try to get the teachers/staff to support him during social, group activities. He will need help learning how to coordinate interaction with the other kids. He will not be aware of the reactions other children have to his behavior. He will not pick up on the cues other children give him, and will not be aware of the thoughts, feelings, and perspectives of the other children. Teachers need to help guide him in social interaction.

7. Take a close look at how the work is presented. Kids with autism/aspergers often need the work to be broken down into smaller parts, given to them one at a time, and given more time to complete their work. A good rule of thumb is giving "half the work, in twice as much time." Also, many children need help getting started (even if they know what to do). The teacher might want to try assisting him through the first part to get him started, and then return again midway through to reinforce working and jump start if needed.

8. Make sure the child knows how to ask for help and how to appropriately ask to get out of doing something. Even if the child is very verbal, they often do not know (or feel safe) asking for help. The child also might act out to escape a task he doesn't want to do (or feels comfortable doing). Sometimes by raising their hand for help, and given a "break card" to use when they need to take a break from the classroom, the children do much better.

10. Regardless of how bright your son is, he will find many of the normal daily demands of the classroom more stressful then the other children. Making his way through the normal interactions with other children and teachers will take ongoing conscious effort on his part. Much of what other children process subconsciously, with little effort, will require a lot of conscious effort from your son. Because of this, he will become overloaded very easily. He may need periodic breaks to rebound throughout the day; chance to escape from the classroom demands and engage in an activity that calms and organizes him.

11. Pay close attention to the unstructured times (lunch, recess, rest periods, etc.) and group activities that require more relating with the other children. They are often lost in these activities, which will lead to them acting out to control them.

12. Make a list of your son's strengths and interests, his fears and sensitivities, and what helps him feel safe, accepted and competent. This helps teachers know the child better. The staff should focus heavily on his strengths, help compensate for his weaknesses, and adapt for his fears/sensitivities. At all times, focus your attention on what you wanted him to do, and minimize attention on what he is doing wrong.

Helping the child feel “safe, accepted, and competent” at school takes many changes in the physical setting, task demands, teaching strategies, and ways of interacting with the child. Sometimes it takes a few years to isolate, analyze, and create the needed changes to make school successful

Layers

To fully understand Autism. I believe you would have to have it.
To better understand Autism, you must have patience.

I used to pray for patience. Who wouldn't want more of such a truly beautiful virtue, right?

God answered my prayers and gave me two boys with Autism.

I no longer pray for patience.

If you seek to better understand someone with Autism, high functioning or not.
Watch the Temple Grandin movie.
Inspiring and eye opening.

My husband and I were watching it one night and our oldest son (9 years old at the time) gave us the greatest understanding ever. "That's how I see things!!" it was an emotional night as we watched and he was able to finally express to us that he sees pictures in his mind. The pictures aren't necessarily associated with the meaning of the word either.
When you say the word Saturday, he sees a picture of sky scrapers. When you say the word moving, he sees a framed family picture. We haven't cracked the code, but it most certainly helped us to understand why he gets so offended easily.
 It is now easier to accept why he doesn't understand some of the simplest requests we make. We literally are saying one thing, and he is seeing pictures to say something garbled and unrelated. He lives in his own language. His own foreign language. All this time we have been trying to get him to live with our language and its meanings, but he has no way to translate it.

We peeled a layer that night. It didn't change him or his Autism. But we started to build a bridge over the HUGE gap we have in communication.


Digressing a little to 4 years ago, we took a weekend trip to Chicago. Stayed in a hotel, went to the zoo, tried the Real Deep Dish Pizza, had a fun lunch at the Rainforest Cafe... a weekend of just family. Just fun.

This trip will  forever be marked in my mind. Our lives were changed in a weekend.
Our third child, a boy was just 2 years old. He was a typical little two year old, with some little quirks. Mainly sensory, but otherwise normal developing.

It was during this trip, hours away from home, that my husband and I watched in horror, losing our little boy. His eyes became still and vacant. His speech incomprehensible, his walk became tricky and clumsy, he would rock back and forth and hum.
 
We knew immediately what was happening and there was nothing we could do to stop it. I never in a million years thought I would actually watch the regression in any of my children. My oldest was truly born this way, but to see it happen like a light switch being turned on, I had no choice but to let it happen.

While eating at the Rainforest Cafe I had the overwhelming feeling that our lives would never be the same. I didn't know that this feeling meant Autism.

I called the local Autism chapter First thing Monday morning. They had a specialist at my house on Wednesday. She asked a lot of questions and watched my little boy for over an hour. I will never forget what she told me. I will never forget the feeling in the room.
My son had High functioning Autism. He was already at high risk for Autism because of his brother, but I honestly thought he would escape it. He needed early intervention. An intense program to keep him engaged every single second. We didn't want to risk any more regression. We needed to preserve what was still there. At just 2 years old, he went to a special preschool for toddlers with autism.
8 hours a day, 5 days a week. No summer break, no week days off. 

As a stay at home mom, I felt as though I had failed. How could I allow this to happen? Did I not spend enough time with him? Did I read to him enough? Did I love him enough?

It wasn't me, but as a full time mother, its easy to feel as though you have failed. He was perfectly healthy and normal, how come I couldn't prevent autism.

It was truly a grieving process. we had lost our little boy. While, we still had him in our lives, he wasn't the same. Our little boy was somewhere in that little emotionally numb body. I am his mother, but he was now being raised by a group of professionals every day. I felt like the weekend parent. Helpless and outside the circle of trust. I no longer knew how he spent every hour of his little life. I hurt.

By the time my little guy turned five, he had already had three years of special ed preschool. He was developing beautifully socially and was able to communicate like a normal child his age. At an IEP meeting towards the end of the normal school year, They "regretfully" told me that because of his progress that he no longer qualified for special ed preschool.
Regretfully?? are you kidding me??
That's AMAZING! We have made such tremendous progress that you want to regretfully tell me my child is no longer in need of intense intervention.
I cried.

I would then get one year with him at home before I had to send him to Kindergarten. I didn't know if I would remember what it was like having him home so much. He no longer had the empty look in his eyes. This went away in year 2 of the early intervention. We had peeled some layers and we get to keep this little boy.

we still struggle with the little things, like his very literal world and his inability to socially recognize other children having feelings, but those are teeny tiny compared to the empty he once was.

We continue to peel the layers of Autism away every day. I use the essential oils for this.

I started with the oils that can focus on anxiety. I used 4 oils one on top of the other to help break down the barrier that most children with Autism carry.
Its about gaining their trust. They are easily distracted and naturally nervous. If you take the anxiety away, they are aloud to see the world without the layer. Surprising results have been known to happen. Be prepared to cry when seeing your child have a "first'.

The first time they sit and watch a movie all the way through.
The first time they make eye contact.
The first time they give you a hug.
The first time they smile when you say something funny.

Peeling these layers off, you will discover the child in the body.
My husband and I work tirelessly to improve the lives of our children, but also to give them the tools they need to live in this world. We won't always be able to stand next to them, stick up for them and hold their hand (figuratively)
But we can peel the layers down, so that they can learn for themselves how to live in a world that mostly confuses them.

One layer at a time.

Oils I use for peeling the first layer:

Frankincense (so many uses; if its good enough for Jesus, its good enough for me :)
Patchouli (a digester of toxins in the body)
Vetiver (calming, grounding, a nervous system sedative)
Lavendar (a universal oil to balance the body and work where there is a need; anxiety, emotional balance)

Little feet at bedtime

It's the little feet walking down the hall, long after they were put to bed.
Who could it be? And more importantly, which reasoning will they give for delaying bedtime this time?
Monsters?
Scary Noises?
Needing something to drink?

I love to see their little faces as they prepare to plead their case.
I firmly believe my children understand that there is a science about how to do this scenario successfully.
They were taught by their daddy.

"It's all in the way you present it" he always says.
They're quick learners.... Or great manipulators, the jury is still out on that one :)

When the feet run past my room straight to the kitchen, they get a quick response. Reminding them....water only.
It's just the day after Halloween and while a lot of secret candy consumption occurred. (I am sure of it.) it won't be happening at bedtime.

Two more excuses were used before I remembered I had forgotten to give them their nightly regimen of Lavender.

Now that I was sure I had resolved the reasons for the bedroom escapes..........One more set of feet.

"My ear hurts mommy"

Now, this I Can actually fix.
A little Basil, Lavender and Melaleuca, then safely Tucked in bed with mommy and daddy and quickly, the very tired mommy is the only one still awake.

Blogging.

Debating on how to move said child back to their own bed so I can actually sleep without getting kicked in the face 12 times tonight.

I love how quickly the oils solve most everything. A child that has always refused children's ibuprofen or other liquid over the counter remedies, has developed a trust in the oils. It is the first thing they ask for. well, it might be tied with the overwhelming need of bandaids. but, yes. Mommy has an oil for most things ;) Even the ear ache well after bedtime. :)

Halloween... Autism style

Halloween night

TrIcK oR tReAtInG!!

A most enjoyable treat for kids.

A once a year tradition handed down from the parents where we teach them that dressing up in a disguise and begging for candy door to door is an acceptable behavior.

I hate it.

A Lot.

For us, it is a holiday that requires social skills, patience and coordination that gets rewarded with a LOT of sugar. :(

Finding a suitable costume for a child with tactile sensory. (no tags & no seams) is the least of my problems. Treating their anxiety over the scary thing they just saw pop out of an innocent looking pumpkin, the fear they have from knocking on a door and the communication at the door with the big bowl of choices to make. That's the most exhausting.

did I mention, I don't like Halloween.

So tonight, I prepare the Mummy, Jango Fett, a Vampiress and Strawberry Shortcake for an evening of trick or treating in the rain. In a new neighborhood. and lots of anxiety to share with the entire block. I can hardly contain my enthusiasm........yay.

My children don't share the rest of the world in knowing and understanding a "gray" area. it is either black or white. Very literally, they struggle with the randomness that trick or treating brings.
What do you mean we cant go to that house? Why would they turn their light out? Why did that guy give us popcorn instead of candy? That Lady gave the kid in front of me two pieces, why didn't she give me two pieces?
When offered a bowl of candy to choose from, they see the whole bowl.
They are not spoiled, when they express their disappointment when they don't see a candy they like. Some candies have textures that are undesirable.
They are not just shy, when asked who they are supposed to be. They are not supposed to be anybody. They are them and they are wearing costumes that look like the thing they wanted to wear that year.

They are not being rude when they run in front of someone to get to an open door.
First, they struggle to understand that other people have feelings.
Second, it was an opportunity to not to have to speak.

These are not excuses. These are very real situations for them in every day life. Not just tonight.
We try to teach them the "acceptable" behavior, but they don't understand our reasoning, so it does get forgotten.

Life is very literal. If they see a carved pumpkin with a pant leg and boot sticking out of the mouth, they are pretty sure it just ate a kid. No thanks.
For them, it isn't trick or treating. Its real and its treats. You will forever be known as the scary house where the kids get eaten by pumpkins.

This night of tricks is totally confusing.

I strongly dislike it.

Every year, the anxiety over how the night will go is expressed through bad behavior. ALL DAY.
In years past I have asked them to take a break on their beds. The thought process that leads them to the evenings events, is torture and they are stressed.

I can hardly wait until the evening is done.
I will pretend they didn't have candy for breakfast tomorrow, then I can very patiently wait until next year to go through it all again.

I have a little Serenity and Lavender planned for behind the ears to help with anxieties and an easier bed time after seeing the Giant spider and skeletons hanging from the trees.
and
A little peppermint and a Digestive blend for the upset bellies (if we get any)  :)

Happy Trick or Treating and be safe!!

A Toothache

3 years ago, I had terrible tooth pain. I didnt have any dental insurance, so I went to the "affordable" dental clinic. Praying for any kind of relief, I was desperate. The pain was unbearable at times.

They told me I needed a root canal. Thank goodness my mouth hurt so bad, I was willing to let them do WHATEVER necessary to make the awful pain go away.

They sent me to a discount specialist the very next day.

WORST EXPERIENCE EVER!!!!

The pain never fully went away after the procedure and I was supposed to go back to the original dentist to get a crown put on it in two weeks.

I showed up for my appointment, but my mouth was so infected and swollen, they sent me away and told me to wait two more weeks.

I filed a complaint instead. Something was wrong and they have officially made me dislike Dentists.

I was able to get into a dentist office of someone we went to church with. He was apalled at what had been done and told me I needed to have another root canal to fix it.

I cried. I didnt think I could endure that again.

This time, I was sent to the University an hour away to have students working on gaining their hours finish it. Again it was discounted, but the work would be double checked by their professors and there was no way I would be leaving there with a messed up mouth.

My specialist, I was told was an army dentist. Working on his specialty in the civilian capacity. I was in the best hands possible. A dentist that had done this many many times and often under pressure. I was once again relieved. Finally, I could put this chapter past me.
A month later we moved out of state. I was forced to see a dentist I picked out of a phone book. I now had insurance, but we were still well below our comfort  level with our income, so paying for things up front, meant going without other necessities, like paying rent.
I was told I needed reconstruction from an endodontist. $200 just for an evaluation. I still didn't have a crown on my tooth, but they did fill it with a cement that didn't wear away. So I let it be. I wasn't in pain, and because of my fear and anxiety at the dentist, I chose to not proceed and keep a roof over our head.

Present day... Two more years have gone by since the final dentist appt. I have dental insurance again and it is almost as if my mouth knew it. Wouldn't you know, that tooth decided to make me aware of its unfinished business.

The pain is a constant, but I'm new to the area. I know no one, so finding a dentist is going to be interesting.

I am prolonging the inevitable, but ibuprofen doesn't even begin to touch the pain.

I looked up the recommended oils in my reference book, and there she is, the only answer I needed.
I have applied a protective blend for the infection and inflammation, Peppermint to help with the inflammation and pain. Melaleuca, serenity and some lavender to calm and cleanse. And so far, they are working better than any amount of ibuprofen had.

While, I know I am going to have to face the inevitable and get the darn tooth fixed for good, it's such a wonderful feeling to know I have something to not only help with the pain, but the impending anxiety I am sure that will accompany me on my visit to the dentist.

Wish me luck!!


*****UPDATE 10/27/12

I have still procrastinated the dentist, but only because my mouth doesn't hurt AT all. Nothing. Nada. Zilch!
The day after posting this, I received my first tube of essential oil toothpaste. I have so much faith in the essential oils, that I felt that if anything could really make this better, it was going to be the oils.
I had been applying the melaleuca, On Guard, and using Peppermint droplets (waaaaaay cool, by the way) and while I could tell that the obvious infection in my mouth was less inflamed and the oils were taking away the pain, I still needed to re- apply about every 4 hours or so.

I brushed my teeth before bed, like I always do, using the toothpaste for the first time and expected to need to use the Peppermint Droplets to numb the area after my toothbrush irritated the area. Nope. Not necessary. The toothpaste wasn't violently minty either. The taste was pleasant, and left my teeth feeling really smooth and nice. I flossed and went to bed. I wondered how long I would be able to go without being in pain.
The next morning when I woke up, I had forgotten my mouth had been hurting me at all.
I remembered about the toothpaste again, and was excited to use it. I believe strongly in the oils and have seen so many wonderful results that I had had high hopes for the toothpaste, but honestly never imagined an overnight result of no pain. 
I am using it every day and ordering more. I don't want to ever be without it. Knowing that it is doing so much good on a regular day, then to have it exceed my expectations when I really needed a miracle.
I have no noticeable inflammation in my mouth. No swollen gums, no sensitivity whatsoever. I am not needing to chew on the side of my cheek to help me deal and I don't need to baby that side of my mouth when eating.
I am kind of excited to go to the dentist and explain to him how I was feeling. I am wondering if he will even be able to tell where my mouth was hurting at all.

Its hard to be a skeptic, when the results are truly amazing. Just change one thing. One over the counter medicine. One prescription, you hate to take. Change one. and I am positive you will want to change them all.

A daily dose

For the last five years, I have suffered from depression and Generalized Anxiety disorder with Panic Attacks.

I had  been on a couple of antidepressants with daily anti anxiety meds at one point. My weight went up and down like a merry go round and my self esteem shrunk from confident to recluse.

As a human being I felt worthless and small. As a mother I felt insecure and incapable. As a wife, I felt there was room for improvement.

I always felt there had to be something to help. My doctors would just increase my dosage. My therapist helped.... a little. I looked forward to my weekly Therapy sessions, but honestly it was more for me to vent and them to listen.

I exercised daily. Working myself up to a daily 3 mile run along the Mississippi River. It always felt great, and I am sure my depression was shrinking, but my Anxiety only grew bigger. Racing thoughts with infinite unavoidable doom around every corner, afraid to fall asleep, and fear of loss. My mental health was still hanging on a thin wire.

When the economy really tanked in 2008, we went unaffected. until 2009. I had felt lucky that our family had been able to hold on to employment a year longer than most in the Midwest. But when we fell, we fell HARD. My husband doing the only thing any man would to support his family, went to work for himself. We had good months and we had bad months. He had no choice but to travel for the next 9 months, until a solid offer for steady employment came from a client. My anxiety hit an all time high in these months. I was a single married mom to special needs children, struggling to make ends meet.

I look back and wonder how I survived. I must have a lot more will than I ever thought possible. Definitely angels were at my side.

We would go on to move 3 times across the country in just 12 months time. Having no more medical insurance, I was left without my antidepressants and anti- anxiety meds.
I tried my coping skills, but really I was good at smiling on the outside while crying and shrinking on the inside.

By the time we were introduced to essential oils, I had been off my meds for almost 2 years. I was excited at the benefits for my children, I wondered if something like that could help me.

In September, 2012, It had been 2 years with no meds. My anxiety hit another high, we moved one more time. 3000 miles across the country to be closer to family. My sister was a Consultant for an Essential Oil company and offered some relief for my anxiety. I was willing to try ANYTHING. I was crawling out of my skin and irritable beyond belief.

She gave me a sample and told me to apply it like perfume. On my wrists and just below my neck. Elevation. A mood enhancing oil blend. Either it was going to help, or it wasn't. Either way, I couldn't lose.

I was sold! within 10 minutes my anxiety was gone. GONE. That has never happened. Not even with my prescription strength meds. I felt happy the rest of the day, and made Elevation my thing. Never to leave my side, never to go without ever again. I still apply it like perfume every day, but I also add a drop to the palm of my hands so I can smell for an extra boost when I want.

I now have medical insurance for the first time in almost 3 years and I don't need an appointment for my mental health. If I have days where my anxiety pokes through, I just apply a little extra Elevation Blend.

My kids are enjoying a happier mommy and my weight for the first time in 5 years isn't all over the place. I'm down almost 2 sizes and I haven't changed any thing but the oil.

I have shared my experience with many people and each of them have since tried Elevation and are using oils for their own personal issues. I keep extra samples with me, as I feel most people are suffering quietly just I like I did.

discovering oils instead of medicine

In 2008, living 1700 miles away from all of our family, I joined Facebook. Just two days before the birth of our 4th child. I had succumbed to the "everybody is doing it" mindset. I rationalized my new found love of knowing everybody Else's business by claiming it was my way to stay in better contact with family and friends. I have used Facebook more than once as my outlet in my journey of Autism Awareness and the Hell that has often reigned down because of our lack of being able to manage it.

Facebook is also the reason I am where I am in this journey. I Love the re-connections with friends and acquaintances and finding the support as a mother in a way I never expected.
It is because of Facebook reconnecting, that my support system is as strong and big as it is. I now understand the meaning of "it takes a village to raise a child" a village of Facebook, ha!

I make it no secret about my boys and their high functioning Autism. I have grown from Autism Awareness to Autism Acceptance as I desire to teach and share the ups and downs. I am also a fan of sarcasm in expressing the reality of my life as a mother to... lets say 4 Spirited children. :) I am sure it is the only reason I have survived with most of my sanity still in tact.

Just this year I was contacted by a friend I knew as a teen. And all thanks to Facebook. She had wondered about my boys, and had something she wanted to send me to try. I now know that she was inspired (I am sure of it).
Skeptically, as we had tried many prescription medications. (none of which could help everything, and all that came with some sort of a negative side effect) I used an Essential oil that she sent me on my oldest.

We started using these oils with just a single drop behind each ear before school each day. By the third day, we had not yet developed a solid routine for applying the oils, but my son was ASKING for them. He felt better, he recognized and saw a difference in himself. He could tell that the oils peeled off the layers of confusion and helped with the way he was thinking and feeling.

AHHHHHMAZING!!! Seriously.

just one week after we started using, I received an email from his teacher. "CM was different. But in a good way. He seemed happier, more relaxed." She didn't ask if I was doing anything different, just thought I would like to know she noticed an improvement.
WOW!!
Not only was my emotionally numb child able to EXPRESS that HE felt better, it was noticeable to others. Brings me to tears just thinking about how far we have come in such a short amount of time.

In just 6 months, I have gone from using the oils to help my son, to using them for every kind of ailment and on every family member.

The other day, while visiting Grandma, she mentioned to me that she was getting a cold. A pesky cough was her biggest issue. I told her that we had just rid the "coughs" in our house in just 2 days with 3 oils. She said, they didn't work well for her, so I let it go.
Later in the day, I noticed she seemed less bothered, to which she replied that she went ahead and used the 3 oils. she was surprised at the results and admitted, that she should have listened, because they did make the cough dissipate and she was feeling better.

I am not a crazy "you gotta try this" kind of person. I won't make anyone try anything. But with the oils, I don't have to. They do that all on their own.

For my Oldest son We began with
Vetiver (to help relax, and calm his senses),
Patchouli (to help ground or stabilize his emotions; mood support),
Wild Orange (to help energize and revitalize an uplifted mood),
Serenity Blend (to help with his anxiety and stresses)
Peppermint (to help him keep concentration)
** we later changed the location of the peppermint to his hand between his thumb and his forefinger so that he could smell as needed to give himself an extra boost during the day. The school does NOT allow a child to administer these themselves out of the bottle with out a doctors note. Silly, I know, but I believe they just don't know enough about them to wish every parent would use them :)
and
We also use Lavender to assist at bedtime not only for an easier bedtime routine, but to help him fall asleep fast and stay asleep. Applied behind his ears and on the bottom of his feet.

We now use
InTune blend (to help him stay focused with a positive thought process)
Balance blend (to calm his senses and anxiety)
in addition to keeping the Serenity Blend, Peppermint and Lavender.

I don't feel as though I have still stepped out of my comfort zone with using the oils, but I do know I will never go back to life without them. No more relying solely on antidepressants or medications that I can barely pronounce with scary ingredients and fact sheets with possible side effects a mile long.