Friday, November 9, 2012


To fully understand Autism. I believe you would have to have it.
To better understand Autism, you must have patience.

I used to pray for patience. Who wouldn't want more of such a truly beautiful virtue, right?

God answered my prayers and gave me two boys with Autism.

I no longer pray for patience.

If you seek to better understand someone with Autism, high functioning or not.
Watch the Temple Grandin movie.
Inspiring and eye opening.

My husband and I were watching it one night and our oldest son (9 years old at the time) gave us the greatest understanding ever. "That's how I see things!!" it was an emotional night as we watched and he was able to finally express to us that he sees pictures in his mind. The pictures aren't necessarily associated with the meaning of the word either.
When you say the word Saturday, he sees a picture of sky scrapers. When you say the word moving, he sees a framed family picture. We haven't cracked the code, but it most certainly helped us to understand why he gets so offended easily.
 It is now easier to accept why he doesn't understand some of the simplest requests we make. We literally are saying one thing, and he is seeing pictures to say something garbled and unrelated. He lives in his own language. His own foreign language. All this time we have been trying to get him to live with our language and its meanings, but he has no way to translate it.

We peeled a layer that night. It didn't change him or his Autism. But we started to build a bridge over the HUGE gap we have in communication.

Digressing a little to 4 years ago, we took a weekend trip to Chicago. Stayed in a hotel, went to the zoo, tried the Real Deep Dish Pizza, had a fun lunch at the Rainforest Cafe... a weekend of just family. Just fun.

This trip will  forever be marked in my mind. Our lives were changed in a weekend.
Our third child, a boy was just 2 years old. He was a typical little two year old, with some little quirks. Mainly sensory, but otherwise normal developing.

It was during this trip, hours away from home, that my husband and I watched in horror, losing our little boy. His eyes became still and vacant. His speech incomprehensible, his walk became tricky and clumsy, he would rock back and forth and hum.
We knew immediately what was happening and there was nothing we could do to stop it. I never in a million years thought I would actually watch the regression in any of my children. My oldest was truly born this way, but to see it happen like a light switch being turned on, I had no choice but to let it happen.

While eating at the Rainforest Cafe I had the overwhelming feeling that our lives would never be the same. I didn't know that this feeling meant Autism.

I called the local Autism chapter First thing Monday morning. They had a specialist at my house on Wednesday. She asked a lot of questions and watched my little boy for over an hour. I will never forget what she told me. I will never forget the feeling in the room.
My son had High functioning Autism. He was already at high risk for Autism because of his brother, but I honestly thought he would escape it. He needed early intervention. An intense program to keep him engaged every single second. We didn't want to risk any more regression. We needed to preserve what was still there. At just 2 years old, he went to a special preschool for toddlers with autism.
8 hours a day, 5 days a week. No summer break, no week days off. 

As a stay at home mom, I felt as though I had failed. How could I allow this to happen? Did I not spend enough time with him? Did I read to him enough? Did I love him enough?

It wasn't me, but as a full time mother, its easy to feel as though you have failed. He was perfectly healthy and normal, how come I couldn't prevent autism.

It was truly a grieving process. we had lost our little boy. While, we still had him in our lives, he wasn't the same. Our little boy was somewhere in that little emotionally numb body. I am his mother, but he was now being raised by a group of professionals every day. I felt like the weekend parent. Helpless and outside the circle of trust. I no longer knew how he spent every hour of his little life. I hurt.

By the time my little guy turned five, he had already had three years of special ed preschool. He was developing beautifully socially and was able to communicate like a normal child his age. At an IEP meeting towards the end of the normal school year, They "regretfully" told me that because of his progress that he no longer qualified for special ed preschool.
Regretfully?? are you kidding me??
That's AMAZING! We have made such tremendous progress that you want to regretfully tell me my child is no longer in need of intense intervention.
I cried.

I would then get one year with him at home before I had to send him to Kindergarten. I didn't know if I would remember what it was like having him home so much. He no longer had the empty look in his eyes. This went away in year 2 of the early intervention. We had peeled some layers and we get to keep this little boy.

we still struggle with the little things, like his very literal world and his inability to socially recognize other children having feelings, but those are teeny tiny compared to the empty he once was.

We continue to peel the layers of Autism away every day. I use the essential oils for this.

I started with the oils that can focus on anxiety. I used 4 oils one on top of the other to help break down the barrier that most children with Autism carry.
Its about gaining their trust. They are easily distracted and naturally nervous. If you take the anxiety away, they are aloud to see the world without the layer. Surprising results have been known to happen. Be prepared to cry when seeing your child have a "first'.

The first time they sit and watch a movie all the way through.
The first time they make eye contact.
The first time they give you a hug.
The first time they smile when you say something funny.

Peeling these layers off, you will discover the child in the body.
My husband and I work tirelessly to improve the lives of our children, but also to give them the tools they need to live in this world. We won't always be able to stand next to them, stick up for them and hold their hand (figuratively)
But we can peel the layers down, so that they can learn for themselves how to live in a world that mostly confuses them.

One layer at a time.

Oils I use for peeling the first layer:

Frankincense (so many uses; if its good enough for Jesus, its good enough for me :)
Patchouli (a digester of toxins in the body)
Vetiver (calming, grounding, a nervous system sedative)
Lavendar (a universal oil to balance the body and work where there is a need; anxiety, emotional balance)

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Little feet at bedtime

It's the little feet walking down the hall, long after they were put to bed.
Who could it be? And more importantly, which reasoning will they give for delaying bedtime this time?
Scary Noises?
Needing something to drink?

I love to see their little faces as they prepare to plead their case.
I firmly believe my children understand that there is a science about how to do this scenario successfully.
They were taught by their daddy.

"It's all in the way you present it" he always says.
They're quick learners.... Or great manipulators, the jury is still out on that one :)

When the feet run past my room straight to the kitchen, they get a quick response. Reminding them....water only.
It's just the day after Halloween and while a lot of secret candy consumption occurred. (I am sure of it.) it won't be happening at bedtime.

Two more excuses were used before I remembered I had forgotten to give them their nightly regimen of Lavender.

Now that I was sure I had resolved the reasons for the bedroom escapes..........One more set of feet.

"My ear hurts mommy"

Now, this I Can actually fix.
A little Basil, Lavender and Melaleuca, then safely Tucked in bed with mommy and daddy and quickly, the very tired mommy is the only one still awake.


Debating on how to move said child back to their own bed so I can actually sleep without getting kicked in the face 12 times tonight.

I love how quickly the oils solve most everything. A child that has always refused children's ibuprofen or other liquid over the counter remedies, has developed a trust in the oils. It is the first thing they ask for. well, it might be tied with the overwhelming need of bandaids. but, yes. Mommy has an oil for most things ;) Even the ear ache well after bedtime. :)